Stuff happens

I suppose I should explain why Carey and I are well... Not on the same page these days. Awhile back Carey and I were staying at my parents place and she was sleeping on the couch and I was in my room. We were trying to pray together every day. So one night she is upset about something I forget what it was and so I asked her if she would pray with me and she refused to I went to my room and went to bed. She is really mad and apparently goes postal and breaks a picture of us. She also throws one of my books outsied. So I get up and talk to her a bit then try to go back to bed. She then continues the bridezilla rapage and litterally breaks down the sliding door to my bedroom. She is accusing me of mistakes I made when we first started dating like being late and such. Things I thought were forgiven long ago. See the thing is Carey did not used to be like this but after she started working at the school I think she might have run into some false teachers or something got ahold of her. In anycase dwelling on negative emotions or whatever. So anyways after a bit of the blame game and I did say she is not important meaning "you are not all that and a bag of chips"and I even used the female dog word but I was not angry at heart and quite composed actually (I think in a blame game its worth points or something). So I should have turned the other cheek I suppose as she was trying to hit me litterally and several times threatened to kill me in my sleep so I figured that was a bit much. So I asked her to leave and go outside and she refused so I pushed her out the door. She then fell down and cut her leg I think. I guess after talking to my father she told him it was going to happen again and he imediately sent her home with my mother. I have not spoken to her since.

A long time ago God said to me "She has to be mine before she can be yours" I did not listen and I wish I had. It must mean she has not fully surrenedered to Jesus as lord yet. A romance addiction I think. Its not her fault really she had planned to get help with that at the church. I am sure she will get through it.

I am hopeful that things will work out but I just make things more difficult being in her life right now. Girls should not be allowed to play with Barbies they do not realize we men do not know their thoughts like the dolls do and our arms do not bend like that nor can we do the splits.... Bad Barbie Bad. lol. It really does not help us understand eachother.

Its not a matter of being GOOD enouph for God its a matter of that once you accept the word of God reguarding the kingdom its a sin to NOT LET God love you. He commands us to remain in his love and that perfect love casts out all fear. As for this situation Jesus says it best:

Matthew 11:12 And from the time John the Baptist began preaching until now, the Kingdom of Heaven has been forcefully advancing,^[a] and violent people are attacking it.

I love Carey very much and I wish the best for her and us but something is messed up we used to be so perfect together. Very similar dreams of our future, passions, and interests. I miss those times a couple years ago, I miss them alot. I am sure she will do what she taught the kindergarteners at the school to do. Also its just a communication breakdown. I am fortunate in that I have more time to get some things in my life sorted out now.

Original Post is here from Jan 30th 2009
http://blog.nccomputers.com/wordpress/?p=145